Just breathe.....

Just breathe.

.

Slower.

.

That's it.

.

Now push.

.

Harder.

.

Almost there.

.

One more.

.

Here it comes.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It's a boy!

Then came the best sound in all the world at that moment: you cried.

And so did I. Tears of joy, relief, exhaustion, and pure love.

Pure, unadulterated, unqualified, complete, absolute, true LOVE!

You were so tiny. 4 lbs, 10 oz, 17” long. Too small to take you home...just yet. Leaving you....I cried some more. How could someone miss a person so much, after such a short time with them? Much too short.

At home life was changed forever. Never to be the same again.

Diapers. Bottles. Formula. Pureed food. Solid food. Wee little onesies. Feet jammies. Hugs. Kisses. Snot. Projectile vomit. Grins. Giggles. Sleepless nights. Lullabies. “Good mornin Mommy”. Birthdays. Toys. Toys. And more toys. Daycare tears (mine). New little friends (yours). Swimming lessons. Kindergarten. Soccer practice. Grade School. Tae Kwon Do. New bigger friends. Homeschool. Baseball games. Baseball cards. The Teen Years. Oh my!

Where did all the years go? Too quickly they flew. Much too quickly.

Learning to ride your bike on the 2^nd try. Or 3^rd.

Skateboarding before I was ready...but you were.

Walks to the park, and playing for hours. HOURS!

Being the “cool kid on the bus”. Before you were six.

Growing out of blue jeans much too quickly. And shoes. And shirts. And toys.

Lego creations strewn over the living room floor. Pieces right where I kneeled to play with you.

“I love you, Mommy”s with tiny arms wrapped around my neck. Kisses goodnight.

Stories told and books read before drifting off to sleep. Each and every night.

Worshiping in church with arms lifted above your head. Peace on your face. Tears on mine.

Playing baseball while my heart swelled with pride. Joy on your face.

All of it past, but still fresh in my mind and heart as tho it happened just yesterday. WASN’T it just yesterday????

Now as I look ahead at where your life might go, I only see promise and hope and joy and peace for you. And love.

There is so much goodness in you.

I watch in awe as your generous heart pours out for others.

Your infectious grin bring joy to other faces.

Your gentleness is shown when you help others.

Your tenderness reveals itself when you are a big brother to children that aren’t mine.

You have always been my biggest cheerleader. Believing in me when I couldn’t. Encouraging me when I needed it. Reminding me I’m beautiful when I don’t feel it. Showing God’s love for me when I doubt it from others. Liking me when I’m the least likable. Forgiving me. Always.

Josey, I could say so much more about your compassion, kindness, honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, honor, love, goodwill, concern for others, transparency, thoughtfulness, silliness, fun-loving attitude, and even your maleness.....but I will let you just show it in all that you do.

Happy 14^th birthday, my son! I love you more than words could ever say. And indeed, I like you too! You are the best! And I am honored to be your mom. Blessed beyond words.

Love Always & Forever—

Mom

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX